From the Desk of Jack Welsh, Former International Corporate Industrialist
Dear Citizen,
I bring you greetings from Jack Welsh, former Chief Executive Officer of the General Electric Corporation, one of the world's largest industrial manufacturing conglomerates, and the company that recently initiated production of the world's most sophisticated microwave laser-guided rocket control system. Perhaps you have purchased one of our toaster ovens? I hope this missive finds you doing well.
I am Mr. Welsh's assistant, Victoria, although my identity is not important. What IS important is that Mr. Welsh asked me to convey his concerns to you. "Of course, Mr. Walsh," I said, "right away." Then I prepared this letter. When I was finished, we reviewed it together, word for word, me looking over Mr. Welsh's shoulder as he held this correspondence, him nodding and making little noises of agreement in his throat, the fingers of his left hand sometimes finding my leg, just above the knee, which he touched lightly as a sign of understanding, although this scene has nothing to do with why I am writing to you. It is only an extra detail I have added.
Very simply, I am writing to inform you that Mr. Jack Welsh has had just about enough of you. He has had it. Put directly, his patience has run out.
Please don't ask me to explain. Mr. Welsh will find that tiresome. He has no time for explanations. The recipients of his ill favor are always asking why. "Why?" they ask, or sometimes moan, as if they are speaking to Customer Service, or a God who answers prayers, instead of the former Chief Executive Officer of a multinational conglomerate that makes nuclear engines for aircraft carriers.
No, Mr. Welsh is not pleased. He is very displeased. Not just in general, with the world, the hand he has been dealt, or anything to do with luck or fate. He is displeased with you. You personally. Just you.
You will be hearing more from us in the future about this matter. In the meantime, please hold this missive close, and await our further reply.
Sincerely,
/s/
Victoria Cadwallader
Personal Assistant to Mr. Welsh
-- This fictional experiment was posted by Sean
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